Many people have made comments to me about how they couldn't possibly be a good Beachbody Coach because they are not as confident as I am. I am always SO SHOCKED when I hear this, as would anyone who grew up with me be. I was that shy kid. That little blonde girl that the preschool actually wanted to have her hearing tested because she must be deaf. They would ask me questions, and I would just ignore them. When asked why I simply stated, "I don't talk because I have nothing to say to you." Looking back at that now, words cannot express how sad that makes me. Because I truly believed that I had nothing of value to add to anyone else outside of my immediate family at the age of four.
I can vividly remember going to school, not making eye contact with anyone, LITERALLY folding my body into itself to take up the least amount of space possible. Then I remember always feeling left out, always feeling like the butt of the joke. Thinking back on it now, I realize that most of the time people probably didn't even notice me. At the time though, I always felt like I was on display, like everyone was always judging me.
I didn't really have a big group of friends. Actually I think that I had one good friend through elementary school and if I remember correctly, we mostly spent time together outside of school. At least until fifth grade, when she became "popular" (I use that term loosely because I viewed anyone with friends "popular.") When I was about to go into my eighth grade year, my parents got the opportunity through my school to send me to a motivational Tony-Robbins Camp.
I do not think that I can accurately begin to tell you how I felt when my parents DROPPED me off at a hotel in Squaw Valley, California. I was terrified, but not for the reasons most kids that age would be terrified. If my parents had simply left me at a hotel for a week by myself, I would have felt fine. They were leaving me to spend the time with thousands of strangers. THAT was what terrified me. I would be rooming with three other girls... strangers.
Discovery Camp 2001 was literally a life changing experience for me. I learned to believe in myself. To come out of that shell. To take risks. To speak up. To believe in myself. I gained self worth. When I got to high school, I joined DECA. Which was basically a club where you took tests and role played with judges based on different scenarios. It taught me about confidence. As long as you walked into a place acting as if you owned it, as if THEY were seeking YOU for help, then you would do just fine.
When I got to college, I became an RA. Some of the best advice I have ever received was from one of my RA advisors. We were all a bit nervous about speaking to an entire floor worth of students only a year younger, and basically laying out the rules and expectations for them. The advice they gave me was: "THEY do not know what is supposed to be said. THEY don't know if you are doing it right or wrong. THEY see you as a leader, because THEY have been told you are a leader." Basically if I messed it up, it was okay. No one would judge me based on it. That was really a huge turning point for me. As long as you say things with confidence, people tend to believe your message.
Now, I am not saying lie, because that will discount anything that you say in the future, but spread your message with confidence. Believe in yourself and the importance of what you have to say because to someone, your story is important. It WILL HELP someone. Someone who is just like the person you used to be. So who am I now? I am someone who isn't afraid to shake the hands of those people I meet. Someone who can look a stranger in the eye, smile, and strike up a conversation.
Do I still sometimes get uncomfortable and go back to my old ways? OF COURSE. But I give myself 3-5 minutes as that person- THATS IT. Then I buck up, and put a smile on my face. I let my weird silly side show and make new friends. I am Cassandra, hear me ROAR.
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